General Shotgun (not the weapon) Post

Olive oil is all gone, new books need finishing off, new tools need buying, new baby is awesome

I have been inordinately busier than normal lately, so as bullet points:

• The Olive Oil we had for the USA has now all Benn bought, shipped and received. Not sure when the next batch will be, but I will announce it if it happens later this year.

• I have I think 4 new books, genuinely, I don’t recall if it’s 3, 4, or 5, which are essentially finished. A couple need a minor read through for typos, and all of them need cover designs, I just haven’t had the chance to put them together lately, but I must somehow create a clone or a Time Machine and just get it done.

• The shitty brand of tools called Stiga have been breaking like coke-heads being interrogated by the Gestapo since I bought them. Slowly and uncertainly, as money permits, I plan to replace them all with something more durable. Personally, my philosophy of machinery is that it should be able to be used in the Sahara and in Antarctica, continuously, just adding oil and fuel to it, and it should be guaranteed for life. a car my grandfather had in the very early 1970s still works and drives. The modern “throw-away” construction methods of building everything from fidget toys to skyscrapers should warrant sever jail time, corporal punishment and in extreme cases death. If I buy a weapon, a tool or a machine it should outlast me and my children too assuming we all live to healthy 105. Anything less is shoddy, crappy, weak workmanship and should all be labelled as “built in India”.

• The new boy is awesome. He drinks boob, smiles, sleeps and craps. Not a whiner at all, but like all creatures with my DNA, if things don’t get done the way he wants and sharpish, he definitely lets you know about it. His sisters all love him and also want to treat him a bit like their own baby/doll/living tickle toy. His brother on the other hand is quietly protective and you can tell he is thinking he can’t wait for the little dude to be old enough to start planning trouble-filled adventures with him. Having another male besides dad in the house must feel like getting his very own spaceship.

• I still really want a Colt 1911 and a Colt Navy 1851. Can someone tell Elon Musk, or whoever, that he could make one poor Olive Nigger boy in the third world of Europe really happy, with just like €4,000 or so and then a mere €500 a month for ammo? I’ll send him a certificate of rounds fired per month and pictures of the targets. Even the occasional piece of brass so he has a momento. GWAN Elon, remember your African roots and help out another African. You know you want to! And actually, now I think about it, can you also thrown in some cash for a Yellow-boy Winchester lever action rifle too? And maybe a really nice mottled grey/white/black stallion I saw near here, and like… a barn for it. Look, I’ll settle for the handguns, Elon, but I also need a fresh water well… think of it like providing clean water to impoverished third world farmers.

In other news… it’s all good, but I still need to chop more wood since it’s scorching hot now and this winter I REALLY don’t want to try and burn any kind of wood other than the kindling-level dry one that works really well in our stove.

And I look forward to the littlest girl standing out there in her coat, gloves and pom-pomp hand and with her blonde curls and bright blue, smiling eyes, saying “You bashed it, daddy!” and “You missed!” when I don’t split the wood on the first go.

A new bee guy should come round next week as the original guy moved further away and took his bees with him. Hopefully we’ll carry on having uninterrupted fresh, real honey too, and if it goes well may even see about exporting it to the USA along with the oil too. From the end of this year, we should be able to ship larger shipments to the USA, though the shipping is still absurdly expensive, and if Donnie’s “Israel is our greatest genocidal ally” tax oh, sorry, tariff, gets added on too, it may well mean we change the brand name to liquid gold, and only Elon will be able to buy a few litres a year. Unless he gets us a well and a bunch of guns. Then we will look into a subsidy for generous billionaires that need the best quality oil for their cyborg parts.

Oh, and if this property were to be left abandoned I think within six months the vegetation would have swallowed it. If the Amazonian jungles grow as fast as the weeds, brambles and bamboo does here, I expect there are entire civilisations’ metropolis that have been covered up. They probably had skyscraper and space ports too. But they may have left for a mont’s holiday to some other planet and when they got back it was all gone. Covered up by vegetation.

Anyway, that’s it for now.

Of course, I keep praying for the Xenozoic era do descent upon us instantly as a result of some spat-temporal dislocation for the entire planet.