Sigma Wife Problems

When your husband is oblivious to society.

Now that the Little (fat) Wolf is over a year old, while he has not relented at all on his breastfeeding regimen, I think to some extent, the wife’s body is starting to tell her, and him, that maybe he should slow down a little.

So, around the house, she has taken to wearing little tank tops with no bra, and in all honesty, she looks very good in them. So, of course, the following conversation has ensued in the last week or so…

INT: Getting ready to go out with the kids

Me: Mmmm… you look good like that, you can just go as is…

Her: looks at me like I’m retarded

Me: No really…

Her: Are you kidding me?!

Me: No, I…

Her: Listen, we live in a tiny village, where our kids already behave like savages, I can’t speak the language and everyone probably already thinks I’m simple, and now you want me to parade around town with basically my nipples showing?

Me: But you look hot, and…

Her: No, it does not look “hot” it looks like some desperate woman trying to get attention from the four octogenarians in the town!

Me: Eh… so make their day, what else they got to look forward to?

Her: Rolling eyes. Walks off.

Days later, she again is doing stuff around the house in another tank top, now, in my defence, I need to say, she does NOT look pornographic in it, just well shaped, and honestly women twenty years her junior don’t have much on her other than general youth. Plus, if you lived here and walked around you would see that there are plenty women her age and older that dress far more immodestly, and NOT in good taste. The look, if she listened to me, would be fetchingly sporty and well within age range. So that’s my defence. Which will be somewhat validly attacked by her comments below, as you will see, but still…

Me: See, come on, you look good like this.

Her: Rolling eyes again but now with the intent of educating me. It does NOT look good! It’s NOT a good look! Can’t you even see one is bigger than the other? Noticeably?

Me: Eh, every woman has that disparity…

Her: No! They fill up at different rates, look! Noticeably different!

Me: Eh, so hook him up to the bigger one to rebalance… Besides, no bra makes it easier to breast feed…

Her: Looks at me again like I am retarded. BOOBS LEAK! Do you not understand this? When he breastfeeds on one, the other one leaks! So yeah, sure, everyone WOULD be looking at me! So sexy! (I think there may have been some sarcasm in her voice here.)

Me: Well…when you put it that way… you do paint a slightly different picture…

Her: Oh yes, everyone looking at me with my wet patches! Just the look I want!

Me: Well…

Her: Gives me the: I told you, you’re retarded with my previous looks, this is the confirmation look of it, look.

I think she may have “won” this round. I’ll have to wait until the breastfeeding stops at least before I bring it up again anyway.