Sweet Nothings

Morning conversations with the wife

Wife: (looking out the window in the kitchen) It’s a really beautiful day

Me: (trying to start a fire in the wood stove) I know. Sadly, because we went to Hell yesterday for the sake of the children (see next post coming in a bit) today I have to do the work I don’t do yesterday, so…

Wife: I wasn’t suggesting you need to go out in it, I was just saying: It’s a nice day.

Me: Well, I WOULD like to go out in it, if I could and had the time.

Wife: (Scoffs)

Me: What, I DO like to go out in nature. I would love to have more time to wander into the forest, in peaceful, serene silence, alone in nature.

Wife: Ha! Sure! Nah, you’d be lying on the sofa, binging on some cowboy series on Netflix!

Me: (sort of half-hugging her, but with a sarcastic tone) Well, yes, I would… but only if I had a really sexy hottie to do it with…

Wife: Oh yes please! Then we would both be free!

I read somewhere once of a meta study that showed that the longest lasting couples with successful marriages are the ones that needle/tease each other regularly.

If that’s true, we’ll definitely be able to fulfil the Catholic part of “till death do us part”.

Of course, as the old joke goes for Catholics, that can include murder…